Farewell

There is love

2009-09-12T03:16:00.000-07:00

There is love.
Untalked.
Unnotice.
Unbelievable.... But there is love..

I let everybody, everyone... see how I love her so much....
But Now, I have to keep it for myself. Pretending...that I m not in love anymore will make me preserve my heart. I m suffer! yes I m! but at least no one will laugh at me...and think that i m so stupid bcos I lover her. I m not a lesbian! I just a heart full of love and feeling....

There is love for her. Always!
Just...let no one see it....

Don't ever say good bye

2008-08-06T09:01:00.001-07:00

But we have to! So easy to say good bye. Just wave your hand and say...." Bye..bye..!" Done. After that what? Lucky if we can meet again, if not....?

I don't like to say good bye. But out of my intentions...I said this words more than other. ..bye here...bye there...

I'm in melancholic mood now. I just said good bye to my beloved one. The one who always make my day full of flower and butterfly. The one who always hug me and said...love me... true or not...but I like to heard it. She is my angel. The only one that I ever love in this kind of love. The one that's not mine...but I scared to loose her.

This good bye...is forever. I will never meet her again. I can't hug her again... touch her hair with love.... or ever think if she is mine. Because she is not. And never be... but she will always in my heart.

This farewell ..is.like death farewell. The different is both of us still alive. But the chance to meet again is zero. She will live forever in mind. But for her....I already die. She will remember me....I'm sure...but not more...

Farewell...my love...., thousand time....farewell... but like what Kahlil Gibran said in his Garden of Prophet "I measured not my longing with the starry rod, nor did I sound the depth thereof. For love when love is homesick exhausts time’s measurements and time’s soundings."

There is no distance in love. Only when we forgot the space will appear.

Farewell my love....thousand time time farewell......

Hold my hand Tight!

2008-07-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

Hold my hands tight!
please don't let me go!
I need you my sweet angel,
you the only one my reason to be happy,
you are my light when I walk in the darkness,
you are my stick which help me to stay fit in my broken leg,
you the personality of the aprodite,
the god of love..
You the one which God send when I was lost,
You my destination, my final destination
I lost without you...
Please...hold my hand tight!
don't let me go!
I live with memory of you in my mind,
I live with the sadness of the farewell party that's not supposed to happen,
I live with the big dispointed that you,
my sweet little angel...
Let me go...in distract
Everytime I ask my self...
Do I still can see the morning sunlight tommorow?
or my day just end in the way...the darkness come?
The night is not beautiful any more,
The star wave it's light, asking me to join him in the dakness,
I live with memory that will never die,
memory of you my sweet little ange;...
no more shout, no more sad...
only star and the fountain of light
I'll waiting for you there....
forever

what should I do?

2008-07-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

Ireally love her, like my own sister. I take care of her since she was a baby. I'm the one who carried, feed, bath and teach her homework. My relations with her more streng than her adopted mother. By the way, I'm 15 years older than her.
We like sister, best friend..or any relationship that worth and full of passion. And just because one drop of ink, spoil all the pail of milk.
I really mis her right now! Like something taken away from my live. My soul is not perfect without her. Everytime I try to be happy, cheer, and laugh..I think about her....and what she do right now. Is she happy? Enjoy her life with her new dog? Ohhh..thinking about her always drain my spirit.
I scared I 'm already craizy right now. Evrytime I saw a Honda CR-V, I remember her and the car that we always use d long time ago.... in our happines time. We used to sing and fighting on the way to Raub for celebrated Chinesse New Years festival. Or sometime we disturbed 'Mother' our "loyal driver" that we used to call her..of course if she was not around. Untill she scream or shout at two of us.
We were a perfect macth. I believe that. 'Mother" is a Rooster, Amelia is a Tiger and me...a Snake. We look like been made for each other. We complement each. We can finish each other word and$ laugh for the funny thing that only us can noticed.
And later..the misery come.

When I see you again?

2008-07-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

Never! Ican never see her again even if I want to. That's the ruler. For since long ago....I never go back to the place that I ever leave. One time say good bye, forever good bye!
"Bullshit!" my friend Ira shout in angry. "You know...you never sick. You just miss her....!"
"I'm! I never said I'm sick."
"Of course you'r not. But see..yourself..skinny, pale...why you destroy your own live till like this?"
"You don't understand!"
"I understand you very well. I'll book the ticket for you..."
"Don't...!" I stand up to hold her hand. "It won't work in that way! Maybe she already forget me right now. Don't disturb her with this nonsense thing!"